Episode 8: Living in the Same House, a Buddhist Memorial, and Grief Embodied: Yi's Story

Yi and I met working for the same local business; we'd share lunches together and talk about the workday. Our friendship deepened over time, but took a poignant new dimension when she talked about losing her brother in law, Simon. I had met him a couple of times at gatherings at their house. He was so young (30!) and died unexpectedly of an aneurysm. Our whole work community felt the tragedy. I watched as Yi's perspective began to change from the experience. As she, her husband, and their whole family grieved an unfair loss, I too felt shaken by the story. It felt so close to home, so impossible, and yet simultaneously, made my own mortality feel suddenly so possible too.For this interview, we met for breakfast, and caught up like friends do about all the happenings and changes and non-changes in our lives. And then we walked to the Hollywood Library and found a little study room to record our conversation. Yi studied fashion design, and has a bold, eclectic, and fun sense of style- so different from mine. She wore a big, over-sized knit sweater with a funky print, and a favorite pair of worn Chuck Taylors. Her tattoos peeked out from the sleeves. She's a petite person, but something about the sweater and maybe the vulnerability of the conversation made her appear especially tiny and fragile. But I'll tell you: the strength and determination she carried into this conversation was palpable. She knew what she wanted to say.In listening to it again as I went through the editing process, I felt so deeply grateful it was recorded. What a gift to share such raw, honest, authentic conversation. A real, real gift.I think it's fairly common, and I know I fall prey to this personally, to try and act like we've always been right, we always have known the answers. The gift of Yi's story is that her vulnerability shines through so beautifully, and it makes space for all of us to be more human. 

Intro music by Jeffrey Buckingham.

Intermission music "Everything is True" by Monplaisir, from the Free Music Archive