22: Strong death opinions, a book-eating dog, and how stories become who we are: Mark's Story

Mar 1

This episode, I talk with Mark about losing his wife Christine to a very sudden brain aneurysm. He also shares about how just recently, years after she died, he lost her dog Penny to cancer, bringing up another layer of grief. Our conversation takes us from the unbearable intensive care unit, to a powerful memorial service, through opinions about advanced directives, and the absurd and silly realities of what it means to live through losses.

We recorded this episode at my kitchen table, which I learned is a noisy place. Between creaky chairs and the heather coming on, I can see why most professionals record in a studio. That being said, I have found that any place I record these conversations, that place takes on a memory of that person, and that kitchen table will forever hold this tender and sacred exchange of words. Which feels especially apropros given how much I know Mark loves food, and that his wife introduced that gift of cooking to him.

I find Mark’s story to be so compelling, because, to be completely honest, it brings up such a complicated mix of reactions. Disbelief at how cruel life can be; curious about this intelligent and well-loved woman who I never get to meet; terrified that death can take someone from us so quickly; grateful that we can find connection with others who have walked such harsh experiences, making our woundedness, at least temporarily, less lonely.